Surviving as a Zombie

Zombie Survival TipsWell, it’s happened – you made a mistake, got just a little too careless, and now you’re a zombie. You’ve got a hunger for human brains, and humans aren’t willing to give those up without a fight, or at least a slight struggle. Don’t panic; this isn’t the end of the world (for you, at least). It’s the beginning of a brand-new life.

Acquiring food

As a new zombie, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. First and foremost: there are only so many ways that you’re going to be able to get your necessary nutrition. Humans aren’t going to have a difficult time telling you apart from the living, so impersonation and infiltration aren’t really viable options; and you can forget the “buddy can you spare some brains” approach. And, unfortunately humans can easily outrun you, so a direct approach may not work – at least, when you’re alone. There are two main approaches you can take to capture your target: the element of surprise (to the extent that you can), or brute force – relying on the strength of numbers of your traditional zombie clan grouping.

Surprise, Surprise!

This is the most effective tactic if you are consistently alone or have been separated from your normal hunting clan. As mentioned earlier, you won’t be able to disguise yourself as a human or anything as complex as that, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to get the jump on a nice bit of food; if you’re lucky or particularly skilled, shock itself could do all work for you and you’ll be able to dine at your leisure. Ideal places for stealth attacks include:

  • large, open buildings with numerous alcoves and shadows
  • small rooms such as broom closets or restrooms.

Keep in mind, though, that you will rarely, if ever, be able to get the drop on a human in outdoor spaces, because of your increased visibility and lack of hiding spots (heavily-wooded areas being the notable exception).

Muscle over Mind

There are few things more terrifying for the average human than wave after wave of mindless (to them) zombies bearing down on their shelter. Use this fear to your advantage by gathering a large group of your fellow living dead and seeking out human hiding spots. Attack in a swarm formation and even the most fortified and determined food group will succumb to your numbers and attempt to flee, making it easy to pick their brains. Your group will experience causalities from this tactic, but your numbers quickly replenish with every heads up. As the saying goes, “Revenge is a dish best served by eating human brains and turning them into zombies too.” Cold.

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